Just Make It Better

This will be the last post in The Ultimate Crap Detox series. I hope this process has helped even one person reevaluate their relationship with money and things. I hope it helps many others too.

Here are parts 1, 2, 3, and 4 for those of you who are interested in participating.

It’s been almost two years since I went through my own crap detox. I remember how difficult it was and how much I believed I would feel down forever. Now, like most hard times, I am thankful for having gone through it.

This is Part 3 of The Ultimate Crap Detox, which I hope everyone is participating in because nothing is as liberating as freeing yourself from consumerism.

If you haven’t started, please refer here and here to catch up.

This post is easier to cover, but it is still one of the most difficult parts of CD.

As you go along, limiting your purchases and starting the withdrawal process, you may notice that you’ll have an intense desire to spend.Now this may actually be an increased need to spend, it may also just be your minds reaction to not receiving its regular retail fix or it could just be your heightened awareness to how much you do crave obtaining things.

I once pretended that I went to Harvard.

It all started unintentionally when I purchased a cute, pink Harvard t-shirt in Boston while visiting a friend. It fit me well and after a few wears I started to notice that people automatically assumed I went there and treated me differently because of it. I entertained their assumptions often playing along; mostly because it was egotistical and I was twenty and dumb.

As a culture we judge each other based on appearances and we represent ourselves not as who we are, but what we’d like others to think we are.

In this post I am going to dive deeper into differentiating between a need and want and how to start the experience of a Crap Detox.

Dealbreakers

Everybody has the things they believe they need, which really have nothing to do with survival (stilettos, video games, liquor, fancy cell phones). That’s what makes them a want and not a need, right?

Depending on your current financials, the flexibility of this need/want line can differ. But the idea of CD is to remove yourself from feeling like any want is a need, and we will do that by temporarily taking away all but a few, regardless of your income.

The funny thing about stuff is that once you’ve gone long enough without acquiring more of it you stop wanting any of it.

Ever since I’ve freed myself from American consumerism, I’ve noticed the feeling of freedom increases with each day. Like any other addiction the more you feed it the more you crave it or the farther you are from it, the more you wonder why you ever needed it. A year ago I would never have guessed the huge release it would bring. My wish list was excessive, as is the majority of Americans, and it was one of the causes of my stress and unhappiness.

When people ask me where I live I often tell them Little Korea.

Technically NY doesn’t really have one of those, but since I happen to live in a predominantly Korean neighborhood I like to refer to it that way. I moved in without any real attention to the surroundings. I was in desperate need of a new apartment and the only things I cared about were: 1) safe 2) convenient to the highway. I’ve lived here for slightly over two years and besides remnants from the old life, I’m one of the few non-Asians in my surrounding blocks. Next to the McDonald’s around the block there is an Asian Market filled with Korean signs and fish so fresh its practically just been pulled right off the boat. For most people here English is not their first language (sometimes not at all) and their cultural influences are more Korean than American. Despite these obstacles, we communicate without too much confusion.

Since I am a heterosexual female this post will be written from that perspective, but I urge you, regardless of your orientation, to consider where your life may fit into it.

If I were single now, I would surely be a cheap date.

I wasn’t always a woman who didn’t have high romantic demands.  I had a relationship that was luxurious, at least for me and my poor college girl lifestyle. He was all the things a woman is supposed to want, I suppose.  He’d bring the flowers and candies. The fancy dinners and holidays were always filled with material abundance.  He was a kind man, but I never loved him.  I was young and inexperienced and he adored me.

Since there has recently been news of a scientific link between materialism and self-esteem and it seems as though all of us are in some way affected by this overwhelming burden, I wanted to share some of my experience in obtaining freedom from things (it sure is a great place to be). My hope is that it will challenge you to look within yourself and see how materialism affects your own life, relationships and happiness.

Many women today often plan on marrying someone wealthy and if they don’t they plan on having him take control of their financial future. I can relate to the bratty attitude in wanting to chuck it all and find someone to just take care of me while I live the good life with all the other botoxed housewives. It would be impossible to grow up in todays society and not be affected by the reassurance that a nice ass will get you the home you’ve always dreamed off (let alone the limitations the media’s feminine role models portray for those of us dreaming of partnered independence). Unfortunately though, a man is not the financial plan your Charles Schwab advisor will want for you, and neither should you.