Just Make It Better

photo by charlottel

People that care about what other people think make choices based on what other people are doing.

They are the same people that say:

That’s not how it’s done.

(Insert name, institution etc) wouldn’t like it.

People just don’t do that.

That wouldn’t look good.

It’s highly likely you’re one of them.

Have you ever said anything like that? Thought anything like that? Have you ever operated based on what something, someone, somewhere decides is good?

You’re living your life according to someone else’s rules. What a company, religion, society or person decided was good for you and your fellow man. You do it because you don’t even know who you are because you’re too busy trying to be what you think is right. The real you is an even better version than the one you’re allowing others to mold you into.

Humanity doesn’t need rules for how to be good. Monkey’s get it so can we too.

And it takes away from who you are and separates you from a peaceful, happy life.  It doesn’t make sense either. You say you want genuine, intimate relationships, yet choose to spend your time with people who are the opposite of that?

You can have them when you stop pretending to being something you’re not. When you stop being a follower and lying that you’re not. Deep down we all want to be accepted. We want people to like us and be our friend. You fear the real you isn’t good enough. Every time you find yourself making a decision because something isn’t cool, fresh, in, acceptable, normal, traditional, “what people do” – you’re caring about what other people think.

And you’re apt to judge others for the same reasons you don’t do things differently yourself. You may even ridicule them (internally, externally, behind their backs) because you wish you had the strength to be so bold. So different. So, so…yourself.

In doing that you encourage the very thing you don’t like and move farther away from being the person you wish you could be.

I have done it.

I catch myself doing it in my writing. Some may believe I am outspoken, but I censor a lot. And it’s not because I’m being polite.

More like:

I fear ya’ll will run and unsubscribe.

Or I’ll be blacklisted from the cool people’s table.

Or my mother will be so disappointed she won’t speak to me for a month.

Or my lover’s budding career will be tainted by something I say.

Or…

It’s easier for me to look in your eye and mention my alcoholic father than push publish, unaware what eyes will find my memoirs. Still, I post, to remind myself I don’t care what other people think. To live in that space and not the one where I do things based on what everyone else is doing.

Would you like to stop?

You are the only one who decides your life. You. Only you. Your power is what you believe it is. Take responsibility for that and live your life according to what you think is right. Develop unique, individual opinions and thoughts. Consider and listen to others that you highly respect. Since most people don’t know what they are talking about, because they too live in a pod of themselves. Once you start to recognize your true person, you’ll find others like yourself and easily differentiate.

Empower yourself by being yourself. With every moment of authenticity you let trickle out, it’ll be even easier the next time around. If you act as though it’s no big deal, then others around may follow. Dead weight from mediocre friends and negative jerks will find themselves chilling with Friday’s garbage pickup.

Being yourself is real simple people – you just do it.

You know when you’re not. If you’ve gotten this far in this post, you’re too aware to need some lesson on that.

You can’t live your best externally if your soul is getting smothered. The more you shift into it the quicker and easier the rest of your purpose will come into fruition. And with that, the better the world around you can be. You’ll find the company, lover and friends that get what you’re about. It may take some time though, because after spending years fitting in, it may take a few more to find yourself again, let alone a new network. Try not to damn those that don’t relate to the new you. They were you once, battling their own demons. Lead them and teach them, if they listen, but please don’t revert by judging.

Getting to know our own beauty is the purpose of life.

It’s what you were meant to do, don’t dismay, we’re all becoming more of ourselves everyday.

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WAIT! Before you go, I have a favor to ask…

I don’t participate in many social networks. I joined Twitter to connect with you guys more, but as far as spreading JMIB that’s about the gist of my efforts. I don’t Digg or Stumble (although I do have an account) because it’s just not my thing. I could join the networks and suck up to get some attention, but it would be a frabicated effort and I’m over doing fake shit.

Here’s where you come in. I know the lot of you are active in social networks and I was hoping you could support JMIB where I lack. If you could spread the word on a post or the site, I’d so appreciate it. (Feel free to use the Share This button at the bottom of each post!) I know it really helps to use social networks and something tells me you’ll sell it better anyway.

So what do you say, will you help?

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