character flaws and their naysayers
Contrary to the know-it-all alpha female that ricochets off this site, I am very aware of many of my flaws. (And probably still disillusioned about many others.) One trait I’ve been warned about is my most predominant personality trait. I’m conscious of it and have struggled immensely to control, change and alter it. Like many people, I couldn’t seem to figure out how to remedy this character issue. After much internal deliberation I think I may have found the secret to handling character flaws.
Here’s the thing – and yes this thing matters to you too – this “flaw” just happens to also make me me.
It’s the big hole in my head that refuses to keep shut. It’s loud, opinionated, forthright and sometimes downright tactless. I’ve had my fair share of foot-in-mouth moments, some that even required a great deal of damage control. I’ve learned from most of them and although I continue to run it, my mouth doesn’t get away from me as often as it could.
And there’s probably something similar in you too. There’s probably something about you that people always comment on.
Maybe, like me, that something is what makes you remarkable.
You may not be so bluntly honest that people can suck it up as rude or insensitive, but your something may still be what makes you stand out. The something you’ve been told about may be your personality purple cow.
It seems in a lifetime of trying to control my urge to be honest, I’ve suppressed the very thing that makes me unique. I’ve always been the one to call out the pink elephant. The one who says what everyone else is thinking. The one who makes things happen.
Yea yea yea, you can tell me that I need to think of people’s feelings. That’s the very thing, when I speak the truth and stop pussy-footing around it, I am thinking of a person’s best interest. The truth stings but it keeps people from walking into fire (or sometimes gets them to leave it). My worst mistakes have come from smudging the truth in order to not rock the boat. That led to repeated omissions of what I really thought and eventual diminishing of relationships.
No good.
So what the hell is my point?
Well…
1. If you come here for fairies and rainbows, sometimes you’ll get it and sometimes I’ll tell you your girlfriend is a huge loser and you know it.
2. You might be suppressing the very thing that makes you great just because your parents, society or someone says it sucks.
If you want the truth about something, email me your drama and I’ll tell it like it is. And if you want to feel better about yourself, stop pretending to be something you’re not when you know it’s pretty cool in the first place. You’ll weed out the lame-asses that can’t take it and attract those that get it. You’ll find more peace with yourself and a better understanding what is right for you and those around you. You may even see that it was everyone else’s problem and not necessarily yours that needed fixing.
Since all that negative feedback may have a point go ahead and ponder it. Learn how to work your personality purple cow to your advantage. Learn how to stop rubbing people the wrong way with it. Try different angles until you’ve found the one that works the best and you no longer annoy everyone around you. You know, make lemonade.
Oh yea, and in the mean time, respectfully tell your parents, society and that someone to go suck it.
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I love the honesty! People should be who they are…no matter what. A lot of people are afraid of honesty or don’t like to hear it, but not me. I’d rather hear the truth than something sugar-coated (though you probably wouldn’t get that from reading my blog). Though I’m really trying to focus on happiness and positivity, I do believe that honesty — even the seemingly not nice kind — is important. And those who don’t believe that should definitely suck it.
May 26th, 2009 at 11:52 amYou can try until you are blue in the face, but you cannot stop you from continuously emerging. Politics wouldn’t be a good career choice.
May 28th, 2009 at 3:09 pmMaybe it would change the face of politics!
May 29th, 2009 at 10:04 amAn honest politician would be a rare bird – honesty only counts if you are honest all of the time. That would be difficult even for ordinary folks let alone a politician.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:10 pmDoes honesty with your own self count? If so, then I wonder where the lines are drawn. Does a person who blatantly and outwardly lies (like a politician, as you say) comprehend their own deceit? In other words, are they lying to themselves too?
And if so, is it worse or better if someone is unaware of their own dishonesty?
What do you think?
May 30th, 2009 at 9:59 pmI think the people who ought to be in politics, wouldn’t touch it with a 50ft pole. So, we are left with the partisan self-servers, who, when caught in a lie, say they “misspoke” or they spin the living daylights out of the trap they have set for themselves. They are aware of their deceit and it seems, almost proud of their ability to deceive.
It is better or worse? It can’t be better. Your original point of “not pussy-footing around” has people’s interests at heart. I would love to see a politician forgo partisanship and be a true maverick and not a pretend one. Another question could be: Are our politicians a reflection of society? If they are, then the change we want begins with us.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:46 amGood point.
To add: All change begins and ends with us.
Thanks for adding to the discussion Holte.
May 31st, 2009 at 3:52 pmMy pleasure – good subject.
May 31st, 2009 at 3:58 pmI have actually thought about this quite a lot. I find that I am scared of what people think – way too much – and it definitely stops me being myself. It also doesn’t help that I’ve changed so much in the last year or so. It takes a lot of getting used to, but I know you are right when you say that the thing that makes you ‘you’ isn’t always considered a good thing by others. They would definitely miss it if you stopped though!
June 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pmAww Penny, if your online presence is any indication, you seem pretty sweet to me.
June 10th, 2009 at 4:00 pmTrue dat!
June 14th, 2009 at 1:18 pm