Just Make It Better

I stopped blogging a few months back for various reasons. Mostly, one day I woke up and just didn’t feel like writing. Then I felt the same way everyday for like a month. Then a season changed and then it was Winter. I was ignoring it. I didn’t check  my email for months, I didn’t check my stats.  I would occasionally land on the homepage to check to see if it still existed.

(Clearly indicating I cared ever so slightly about it.)

In the time I fell off my blog picked up. When I finally checked back in – officially – I noticed my 84 Thing to Live By post had received quite a few nods from Stumbleupon. Plus other sites had linked to me and Google was sending a bunch too. I was getting more traffic then I ever had and I wasn’t even actively blogging.

I had a moment of egoistical pride.

Realistically, my sites popularity is paltry when compared to the big cheeses of Dooce and 101cookbooks but it was hard to ignore the significance of cool people like Hugh MacLeod twittering about your blog. (He did so back when I was located at makeitbetter.wordpress.com!)

I felt the way my new puppy (another reason for my disappearance) must when he looks at me confused with his head half cocked. Eagerly anticipating his treat, he’s desperate to understand what the hell it is I am saying and will try anything as long as he gets more chicken.

But unlike him, I didn’t seem to have the perseverance to just figure it out. Instead I cowered insecurely and let the blog grow cobwebs.

Slightly afraid of success (duh) and hating on how things are (barf) had me running even when I had what I thought I wanted (traffic). Now it only took me over six months to recognize my behavior and I hope I can remedy that with valuable posts and less I-don’t-know-what-to-say fluff.

Do yourself a favor though and don’t do the dumb thing I did.

My yoga teacher once told me “we must go back to where we were to find out where we must go.” If you’re like me and struggling to find some direction in your life consider something you’ve left behind. It may not be the answer but from the view up here, it appears as though my teacher was right, you’ll find what you’re looking for if you step back to where you were. There, while taking steps something will show up.

Because you see, choosing the standstill will only have you end up as the pup who never gets more chicken.

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