Implementing Mr. King’s Dream
This post is about how to overcome your own biases and judgment of other groups, individuals and ideas. This isn’t just about race or religion, it’s about the skater, the prep, the Louis Vuitton carrying coworker – anyone or anything we negate because of previously held beliefs.
This process worked for me, I hope it works for you.
First figure out where you stand:
1. If you’re aware of your biases and you no longer delude yourself in believing that they don’t exist, therefore you are already past the huge hurdle that first comes with acceptance.
2. If you question whether you have them, your inconclusive position proves they exist.
3. If you legitimately believe that your race, religion, style etc is above all others, well you probably need more help then a blog post could provide.
4. If you are adamant that you are already an unbiased soul, then keep reading anyway and share in the comments.
Which one are you?
Now try this:
1. Admit it.
If you haven’t admitted it yet, you need to before moving on the step two. It doesn’t have to be publicly posted, but you need to acknowledge what you want to change before you can make any really progress.
2. It’s just your perception.
We only perceive things based on what we’ve been taught to believe. Looking outside the box that you’ve placed others in allows you to see the narrow plane in your own perspective. Perhaps with some exploration, information will bring new insight.
3. Spend time with what you fear.
Ultimately racism comes from past experiences, environmental influences and the media’s representation of cultural groups. When you want to overcome a dislike or fear of something the best thing to do is face it. The same goes with a bias. You need to replace the things you learned with real life connection and personal observation.
You aren’t born hating Mexicans, you probably just don’t know any.
4. Experience authentic culture.
The local Chinese place doesn’t really offer the bona fide taste of the old country. Read some literature on the history of the culture you are resistant to, head to a local neighborhood with some friends, and eat cuisine prepared true to the culture’s history. Go to a gay bar and have dinner with some transvestites. You still might not be into trannies, but you’ll be less inclined to judge them as so.
5. Focus on similarities not differences.
Once you’ve found yourself in a situation where you can explore a relationship with someone you would otherwise reject, try to look past what makes you different and find what makes you the same. What makes us the same is far greater then what makes us different. Get to know them for who they are as a person; not a dork, rich girl, or Jew.
6. Let your guard down.
There is always the fear that others will judge and reject you, but don’t let that hinder you from edging your way into opening up. The more you let your guard down the more they will too, and with that an authentic connection will be made. From there the differences that once divided you will become characteristics and beautiful qualities of your new friend.
There’s a distinct line between being biased and wanting to eradicate an entire group of people, but still, as the song goes, we’re all a little bit racist.
We just don’t have to be.
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