Just Make It Better

For the past two years I’ve spent about ten hours every Saturday with children. I do so for the extra cash, which allows me to pay off debt, (currently working on the car loan!) save, and therefore attain the lifestyle I want. The ages, temperaments and backgrounds of these kids can vary, but after all this time I’ve realized I probably learn more from them then at the monotonous desk job I have.

1. Unless otherwise communicated, people react to their own interpretations.

Children, either through their own oral limitations or oppressed communicative skills often struggle with self articulation. As adults we also tend to react to those in our lives based on our own analysis of the other person’s intentions. Our sensitivities, past grudges and socialization can manipulate our perspective into something other then the truth.

Take a time-out:

Breathe.
Stop thinking and shut your brain up, it just gets in the way.
Observe and be rational.
Address and communicate.

For those situations when you are too heated or unclear, just walk away and deal with it later. Clarity will come if you stop obsessing and you’re more likely to actually get somewhere when you discuss it without ranting. Whether you’re on the right path or not, situations are usually never what they seem.

2. What you show people they will show you.

When dealing with spoiled, bratty or disrespectful children, just reciprocating their bad behavior only encourages it further. When you act towards them in the long term as you would like them to treat you, behavior adjustment occurs. You can’t demand respect and not give it. These rules apply to all ages. You’re no important then you’re coworkers and if you expect something from them the only way to show you deserve it is by demonstrating your ability to give it.

It annoys me when people step on their self-made pedestals and require those below to bow and then wonder why everyone treats them with disdain.

3. You are your parents.

From age two on, I see it every week, in almost all my little cohorts.

There are variations of it, but stop denying it. You’ve become them and hating it just says you really hate something in yourself. Get over it; forgive them for their shortcomings, they only did what they knew to do at the time. Your parents and their crappy traits just give you the opportunity to overcome one of the biggest acts of forgiveness. Embrace it: it’ll change your life.

4. The wife/boyfriend/friend/Aunt/Boss/Animal/Mineral that walks all over you is no ones fault but your own.

I mean…you allow it.

Kids will do everything they can to manipulate you to get what they want; after all they are learning the art of negotiation and trade. I can always tell the ones that have pushover parents: they ask and whine six times after I’ve already shot down their request for more candy. If your M.O with people is to budge or never say no even though you should, well then you can only expect another round of whining the next time around. And if I endure it over and over again, I can’t blame anyone for trying, why would anyone stop if they know it always works?

Grow a backbone. They’ll respect you for it, or you’ll be better off when you learn they never did.

5. Always ask why.

Why does the car need gas? Why is the sky blue? Why do my teeth fall out? Why are we still at war? Why should I care? Why should I listen to you?

Kids are fabulous at never shutting up about why, why, why, yet at a certain point as adults we stop asking. Don’t just assume what you’re told by media, superiors and those in power is in your best interest. Your own knowledge is power, consider what others tell you, then go out and decide for yourself if it’s true. Start and never stop asking why, because you never know what is right until you go find out for yourself.

6. Favoritism exists.

If my future kid ever struts home and tells me the teacher doesn’t like him/her, I’ll consider it might be true. (I just might ask why first and see for myself – see above) I’ve seen plenty of kids being treated differently by other employees at my place of work, either because they’re difficult, misbehaving or just not as liked as the others. I wouldn’t say they are neglected, just not given the same estra attention. You can’t fight favoritism, besides if you do, it kind of makes you a sore loser. Just find your niche where you get to be one of the favorites. This works in life, work, family, friends, lovers and communities.

You’re fabulous and should be around those that think so. Don’t accept less.

7. Change is only hard in the beginning.

Everyone always says children handle change better then adults. Is it because their parents are usually the ones handling the decisions? Or does it have to do with the resilience of youth? I don’t really know, but we sure can take a cue from them that it’s only as scary as we let it be. The adaptation of change can be overwhelming, but just as we tell them it’s all for the best and that they’ll be okay, we have to believe it for ourselves as well.

8. You can do anything; you just might have to struggle with it.

I’ve seen many young minds wail about how they can’t do it; ‘it’ being whatever task they struggle with at the moment, but those that give up never achieve their goals of finishing the puzzle, tying their shoes or reaching for the stars. The ones that bite their lower lip, choosing to trip and fail, often run screaming back to me thrilled to share their success. As a rule children are more inclined to pick up things much quicker then adults, but is because of their youthful innocence that makes them less afraid of failure? I can’t spout the psychological drivel to say for sure, but I like to think so. Who’s to say what acheivements we have in us. I didn’t know I could write code until I learned how to blog.

We really can do anything we want, we just have to try; we’ll never really know our own greatness until we do.

9. Practice, you fool.

Everything takes time, effort and a continuous amount of practice. That includes everything on this list. Life isn’t about getting somewhere and then plateauing in the sea of enlightenment. Just as children must learn and grow, so shall we. Anything you want to do or change will take time to implement and perfect.

Class dismissed.

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