Just Make It Better

I once pretended that I went to Harvard.

It all started unintentionally when I purchased a cute, pink Harvard t-shirt in Boston while visiting a friend. It fit me well and after a few wears I started to notice that people automatically assumed I went there and treated me differently because of it. I entertained their assumptions often playing along; mostly because it was egotistical and I was twenty and dumb.

As a culture we judge each other based on appearances and we represent ourselves not as who we are, but what we’d like others to think we are.

In this post I am going to dive deeper into differentiating between a need and want and how to start the experience of a Crap Detox.

Dealbreakers

Everybody has the things they believe they need, which really have nothing to do with survival (stilettos, video games, liquor, fancy cell phones). That’s what makes them a want and not a need, right?

Depending on your current financials, the flexibility of this need/want line can differ. But the idea of CD is to remove yourself from feeling like any want is a need, and we will do that by temporarily taking away all but a few, regardless of your income.

I haven’t been watching too much of “The Big Give” but I did catch the first one and the beginning of the second last night while skimming through my bloated DVR.

The only comment I have to make (and let’s face it, there are many to be had) is on the veteran’s they featured on both episodes.

Putting the facts on paper and when not dissecting it any further: they both went to war, fought, came back disabled and now they are struggling to survive because of it.

In swoops the reality show to save the day.

The funny thing about stuff is that once you’ve gone long enough without acquiring more of it you stop wanting any of it.

Ever since I’ve freed myself from American consumerism, I’ve noticed the feeling of freedom increases with each day. Like any other addiction the more you feed it the more you crave it or the farther you are from it, the more you wonder why you ever needed it. A year ago I would never have guessed the huge release it would bring. My wish list was excessive, as is the majority of Americans, and it was one of the causes of my stress and unhappiness.

I was clipping coupons the other night and came across one for Dove.

It had a woman in her underwear, obviously a “real” woman because she was average looking and had the smallest belly roll and it seemed so gimmicky to me.

Dove’s marketing position is to appeal to real women who wanted to be represented in the media. Or to women who are tired of being sold the mass media’s underweight, blonde, perfect version of sexy. Or to insecure women who feel good supporting a brand that ‘makes them feel good about being normal’.

Does this explain the war in Iraq too?

So with this being true…why is this going on?

For the fatty in you

I’m not the only one who thinks our work structure sucks

I found a great new blog for women (sorry fellas – check it out anyway – you might like it!)

For those that enjoy a bit of dry humor

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This post is about how to overcome your own biases and judgment of other groups, individuals and ideas. This isn’t just about race or religion, it’s about the skater, the prep, the Louis Vuitton carrying coworker – anyone or anything we negate because of previously held beliefs.

This process worked for me, I hope it works for you.

First figure out where you stand:

1. If you’re aware of your biases and you no longer delude yourself in believing that they don’t exist, therefore you are already past the huge hurdle that first comes with acceptance.

Ever hang out with someone and feel anxious to get home? Does being around them make you feel drained, annoyed or stressed out? You’re not quite sure how it got like this, but you can’t shake the feeling you want to “break up with them”?

Toxic Friends.

They infiltrate your life like a searpeant, slithering their negativity in and unexpectedly smothering you with it.

The three year old I baby-sit called out my name, distressed about something.

She was peering down at a small spider and looked up at me, scared, asking what we should do.

I told her that all living creatures have souls and contribute and that spiders like that can’t hurt us, so perhaps we should leave it alone?

My answer must’ve appeased her as she smiled slightly, nodded, and headed back to her playroom in agreement.

I marveled at the simplicity of it; how easily empathy can be taught.

I’m not skinny. I’m not chubby either. I’m the girl who would’ve fit in perfectly during the 1950’s; curvy and fair.

I think I’m sexy. Some other people agree and some don’t, but either way I’ve still received my fair share of attention.

I’ve been gawked at like a celebrity, hit on like a playmate, but couldn’t get a date to my Senior Prom (I’ll share that sad tale another day). I have gorgeous eyes and high maintenance, forgettable hair.

Suffice to say, I’m imperfect and flawed; human.