That Green Eyed Bitch
I’ve never really been too much of envious person; usually holding tight to the idea that “their success is not my failure”. Recently though, as I struggle to find my place in this writing/blogging world, I find that I am often detered by what others have accomplished. Inspiration and determination has not been springing within me as I am often deflated by the rising success of others.
The green dragon really likes to unexpectedly bite you in the ass, doesn’t it?
In not wanting to be an envious and hateful cod, I’ve forwarded my thinking to understanding why.
Well to start I’m disgustingly afraid of failing at this whole writing venture I’ve set upon and the more involved I get the more I uncover how much I need to learn (this road is getting long and intimidating).
But, isn’t that true about anything you want?
It wouldn’t be what you wanted if it were easy. Isn’t what we want the most what we believe we are farthest from? What we are passionate about is always something that we have to struggle with to achieve, because why would we ever aspire for something within our reach?
Maybe that means jealousy is your brain telling you:
“Yeah, you want that. Now just go out and get it!”
Allowing this jealousy to get to me isn’t going to help, and feeding into it is only going to create failure, so I might as well find some way to use these feelings to my advantage.
At least until I am able to get over them.
i remember something i read somewhere. basically it said that if i’m jealous of something it is because i feel i cannot obtain that item i feel jealousy towards. Else, instead of jealousy i’d feel motivated.
Anything worth having comes at a price. I know what you mean. This year I’m dead on tackling my goals for 2008 and I’m going through the same thing. Keep going though!
February 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm