Buying The Cow

Some people have mentioned the dynamics of my living arrangement, given the concept “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”?  I understand the logistics of their thinking. If you give someone all that they would want, then why would they take the legal and financial leaps that come with an even greater commitment? What then do they have to motivate them?

If someone is really commited, then they are commited. With or without the milk.

If games such as these need be played, then the rules in the field aren’t exactly fair, and you shouldn’t be willing to engage in something so frivolous. If I needed to restrict myself from entering into certain arrangements because of fear that it could halt my relationship’s progression, perhaps I should first figure out why I am wasting my time here with someone I can’t be myself with?

Sure if my intentions are not for the future, then of course, I could carry on, enjoying it until there was no more.

But sorry, I want a blossoming, reciprocal relationship; one with an appreciation for the present and a cemented future. And if my partner was of such little character that offering myself and my love meant he lost his respect and love for me, then he can go find someone else to lead on.

I don’t buy into the bullshit that my love’s interest in our development has been lost since I started paying half the rent, and if it did, then what we have isn’t true.

And noone deserves any less then that.

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Continue reading » · Written on: 01-31-08 · 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Buying The Cow”

  1. indian matrimonials wrote:

    really nice one and keep it up!

    http://www.indiamatrimony.com for indian matrimonials

     February 2nd, 2008 at 4:42 am
  2. Nicole wrote:

    Thanks, I will…as long as you guys keep reading. :)

    February 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 am
  3. RetiredSyd wrote:

    I also remember this “buy the cow” comment when my (now) husband and I were living together many years ago. It still irritates me. For one reason, I was hugely impacted by the outside pressure to get married, it made me obsessed about getting married.

    Now, decades later, I think who cares whether we’re married or not. I’m happy to be married to this man, but why is it so important to OTHERS that we are married–what business is it of theirs? We’re exactly the same couple married or unmarried, but not in the eyes of society.

     February 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
  4. Nicole wrote:

    Hey RetiredSyd,

    It’s nice to here that someone from another generation with the experience of a long term relationship agrees that the signifigance in marriage is often put on by outside pressures.

    I’d love to hear your perspective on my post “I hate weddings”, which discusses that very topic.

    You can find it here:

    http://makeitbetter.wordpress......-weddings/

    Thanks for visiting!

     February 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm

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