Just Make It Better

Some people have mentioned the dynamics of my living arrangement, given the concept “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”?  I understand the logistics of their thinking. If you give someone all that they would want, then why would they take the legal and financial leaps that come with an even greater commitment? What then do they have to motivate them?

If someone is really commited, then they are commited. With or without the milk.

When people ask me where I live I often tell them Little Korea.

Technically NY doesn’t really have one of those, but since I happen to live in a predominantly Korean neighborhood I like to refer to it that way. I moved in without any real attention to the surroundings. I was in desperate need of a new apartment and the only things I cared about were: 1) safe 2) convenient to the highway. I’ve lived here for slightly over two years and besides remnants from the old life, I’m one of the few non-Asians in my surrounding blocks. Next to the McDonald’s around the block there is an Asian Market filled with Korean signs and fish so fresh its practically just been pulled right off the boat. For most people here English is not their first language (sometimes not at all) and their cultural influences are more Korean than American. Despite these obstacles, we communicate without too much confusion.

“We came to see that, in the long run, it is more honorable to walk in dignity than ride in humiliation.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

As it is another year celebrating the late Civil Right’s leader, I am reminded of the people who were responsible for some of the most incredible acts of bravery in our nation’s history. I personally can’t imagine what it was like to be even alive during a time when segregation was legal, let alone be a black person fighting it.

It seems our people have been tamed into silence. Unlike the wild horses we once were, determined to have the life we demanded.

I’ve spent the last few years of my life participating in standard marital celebrations. All my experiences have been similar but after one such party I felt the full impact of its redundancy; something I think many people can relate too.

Since the announcement I had not seen the newly betrothed girl so I walked up to her and gave the expected congratulations. As we pulled away from our embrace, she shoved her left hand in my face with such tenacity I was humorously taken aback by her forcefulness. I glanced at the ring and smiled, knowing her intentions were laced with excitement and not bad mannered. As she rambled on, sharing the story of their engagement for no doubts the hundred and sixth time, I analyzed her joy.

This was the contents of one of those unforgivable mass emails a friend sent me. Although I loathe the manor in which I was received it, the contents are sweet and true.

Enjoy!

(You’ll find my nuggets in parenthesis.)

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. (and unrelenting passion)

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s: respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions. (With this, comes leadership and change)

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Every year around a holiday (no matter what one) my introverted boyfriend goes into a tizzy about having to think of things to purchase for everyone. He complains about it because he kindly does not want to disappoint those that enjoy the whole charade, while conflictingly dislikes the ridiculousness of the obligation. I hear the same concerns from various people; my best girlfriend is still discussing the make up purchase she needs for her beau’s birthday from October.

There are still times when you’d either like to present someone with a thoughtful gift or etiquette expects you too. Rather then give you an extensive list of ideas this will teach you the art of gift giving, letting you recreate it.

Since I am a heterosexual female this post will be written from that perspective, but I urge you, regardless of your orientation, to consider where your life may fit into it.

If I were single now, I would surely be a cheap date.

I wasn’t always a woman who didn’t have high romantic demands.  I had a relationship that was luxurious, at least for me and my poor college girl lifestyle. He was all the things a woman is supposed to want, I suppose.  He’d bring the flowers and candies. The fancy dinners and holidays were always filled with material abundance.  He was a kind man, but I never loved him.  I was young and inexperienced and he adored me.

I just ate a chocolate truffle.

It was one of those incredibly decadent ones. And having just gone to yoga a few hours ago, I ate it in a peacefully present state.

Were these usually this good or am I just painfully aware of it this time?

I followed that thought with an internal debate about why my gluttoness dessert choices are obviously unnecessary. If I just learned to always appreciate the signifigance in one truffle, I may very well avoid diabetes.