The Problem with Image
I’ve encountered and befriended a many ‘freaks and geeks’ in my life. Who knows, maybe I attract them to me. Their outward appearance was typical for the terms affixed to them and they usually lamented the negative feedback, mastering claims of necessary tolerance and acceptance. Although, I’d have to acknowledge the hardships they were regularly exposed too, after some extended observations the isolation that many people feel appears to me as mostly self inflicted.
During adolescence when one is stricken with the misery of high school and puberty they can’t be blamed for experimentation and rebellion. It is those that carry the identity crisis far into adulthood that appear to live inwardly as one individual and outwardly as the figure they’d like to portray. These freaks, Jones’s chases and other extreme forms of “uniqueness” are not non- conformists, but instead a representative for acceptance into any group, no matter how rejected it is from another one. (Hmm, isn’t a conscious rejection to conformity a form of conformity itself?) These so-called rejected groups pass the same great judgment on others that they claim victim of, and all the while try more and more to fit into the image that they want to be accepted as. If you’ve ever just met an acquaintance you’ll know the strains that can sometimes be created by differences. It is that much harder to connect with a person when gothic makeup covers the length of their face, smearing their eyes, and basically distracting you from who they are but rather what they showcase. Such extremities affix a person to the outward rather then the inward and since these adornments are a choice, I can’t help but consider the isolation and withdrawal is a choice as well.
If you’re trying hard to be different, the odds are you’re trying too hard. If you damn the person who judges your dress of choice but also sneer at your neighbors, you are one in the same; with your attitude creating both situations. The outside will always look at you as different until you stop seeing yourself as so. Once you start accepting yourself, appreciating and demonstrating your undeniable, authentic beauty, you’ll attain acceptance from those that share your inner strength. The resistance you’ll feel from others is a demonstration to the strides you’ll be making. As they judge your differences from the herd they will be forced to look within themselves – never an easy journey for pack followers. The less you care about the external simplicities of your peers the greater impact you’ll have on them and yourself.
People who go to extremes, whether it be with makeup, money, or even this, they are aiming for acceptance from someone. It is a mask that forces those around them to fight to experience the person that lies underneath, which proves the seekers acceptance and love. The authenticity of who you were born to be is cooler, hotter and far more appreciated than the image you could ever try to maintain.
Dammit, just be yourself.
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WAIT! Before you go, I have a favor to ask…
I don’t participate in many social networks. I joined Twitter to connect with you guys more, but as far as spreading JMIB that’s about the gist of my efforts. I don’t Digg or Stumble (although I do have an account) because it’s just not my thing. I could join the networks and suck up to get some attention, but it would be a frabicated effort and I’m over doing fake shit.
Here’s where you come in. I know the lot of you are active in social networks and I was hoping you could support JMIB where I lack. If you could spread the word on a post or the site, I’d so appreciate it. (Feel free to use the Share This button at the bottom of each post!) I know it really helps to use social networks and something tells me you’ll sell it better anyway.
So what do you say, will you help?
such a great post. thank you!
March 6th, 2008 at 3:29 am[...] Forgive your parents 2. Pay off debt 3. Lose your image 4. Think critically 5. Find the silver lining 6. Make friends with children, old people and animals [...]
March 6th, 2008 at 6:31 amHey Marco,
I am glad you liked it! When you come back tell me your own interpretation of image or share your experiences with it?!
March 6th, 2008 at 11:41 amHi Nicole,
My looks don’t bother me too much. In fact my hair grew too long. Friends were saying I needed a haircut and so I did. It was good
But in general I like people who are not afraid to show all sort of images of themselves without limits. A friend of mine has made a photo of herself each day and it blew my mind:
http://flickr.com/photos/grrrl.....526011299/
I think we can not see ourselves like others do. I publish a lot of photo’s and the photo’s I am not so glad with, I look tired for example, get the most reponses. Maybe because that’s me.
What I really liked out your text is the last part. “The authenticity of who you were born to be is cooler, hotter and far more appreciated then the image you could ever try to maintain.”
I think that if you’re simply happy, it will show, no matter how you look. Looks are probably emotions and no images.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:04 pmnice ideas Nicole… For more on masks and one’s true identity that may or may not be “underneath”….(also to get away from reading Godin who is turning up a bit too much for me lately) ..two erudite studies for you and your readers: “Invisible Man” by Ralph Ellison, and “Moby Dick” by Herman Melville.
There is a disconnect with (especially) American culture and identity issues. The two works cited above..one from the 1840’s..one from the 1950’s..illustrate this clearly..and deeply . In this critical year of politics leading to hopefully a changing of the guard..it is more important than ever to PAY ATTENTION to the man behind the curtain (good pun, no?) as we don’t want to opt in to being manipulated ..again. I am especially cognoscent of people your age (my daughter’s a bit younger..) having to cope with the disastrous legacy the last 7 years has brought..and with the confluence of the downslope of Peak Oil and Global Warming, there’s some “news” that needs to be aired..and nobody in this consumer driven to the mall for mo’ crap culture is a gonna wanna hear about it.
enough gloom for my first post…I like this blog of yours..and blame my friend from Den Hague ..Marco..for getting me over here.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:15 amjp
Marco,
I know I never see myself as others do. I sometimes wonder what others even see. I like it when I forget my own appearance b/c I’m just busy being my beautiful me.
JP,
Well I thank Marco for dragging you over as I think you’ll add a lot of texture to my posts!
But in your gloom as you call it, I notice your point “and nobody in this consumer driven to the mall for mo’ crap culture is a gonna wanna hear about it.” Valid it is that most are not interested, but with the right leadership and opportunity I think some will listen. And with those that do it’s like opening Pandora’s box – they can’t go back.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:29 pmAmericans as a whole have been duped and lulled to sleep through the great narcotics tv and (televised!) religion. Medium is the message, same as it ever was.
Unfortunately, I don’t think it is going to change; and as I posted somewhere else re the recession and the chimps response of throwing a few of us $10 a week for a year to “boost the economy”..I feel for Barack-he is either going to be the next FDR..or his picture will show up in Wiki when you look up the word “scapegoat”. However I feel more for you and my daughter’s Y gen humans. People my age never paid attention when they could..and it is probably true that we are responsible for the mess we are handing you. WE voted the chimpateer in. Even the $3-600 govmint hush money is reprehensible..it’s not all of us.. there’s a movement afoot to have a march on DC to burn the checks in front of the Jefferson Memorial!
in the meantime..while you’re driving your SUV to the outlet mall to spend it on a new iphone or salad shooter or whatever the chimp sez is a gonna save the ‘conmy..make sure to vote for gramps in the next election..he’s got experience.
Oh my..more negativity..how about a political thread next? could be..fun.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:42 amWith regard to our current administration, as much as there is to say about it, I optimistically hold to the fact that it will all be over soon and that the someone stepping in next will do a much better job.
I am not sure what political post I would conquer but I always have something brewing, so you’re sure to see something soon enough.
In a more positive approach, what would you all like to see in our next administration, in our government – not necessarily what you don’t like about it now, but what could improve it?
March 9th, 2008 at 1:13 pm[...] The upkeep of our image will always hold us back. [...]
March 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm[...] Things To Live By 1. Forgive your parents 2. Pay off debt 3. Lose your image 4. Think critically 5. Find the silver lining 6. Make friends with children, old people and animals [...]
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 pmThis was a good article. Very insightful.
There were two grammatical errors that I found while reading that you might want to fix:
3rd Paragraph, 1st Sentence
to 
hard.”
“If you’re trying hard to be different, the odds are you’re trying
Last Paragraph, Last Line
then 
the image you could ever try to maintain.”
September 15th, 2008 at 6:37 pm“The authenticity of who you were born to be is cooler, hotter and far more appreciated
I struggle to see your point of view. I think humans tend to present themselves in the aesthetic they find beautiful. I fail to grasp if one human finds orange skin, bleached hair, and water balloons implanted into their chests as beautiful and another finds metal jutting out all over their face, a crayon box for hair, and cheap plastic collars beautiful why is it that only one of them is trying too hard to be different?
Aren’t we all essentially trying to be “special” and appreciated for our unique attributes? Do you not defeat your point that “freaks and geeks” single themselves out by singling them out as the one’s who try too hard and wear a mask? In my experience, most people try too hard and wear a mask. Acceptance is hard won and widely sought after.
If make-up is the hardest thing you have had to get past to connect with someone than consider yourself lucky. I do not understand your point of “we are all the same” but I would like to vilify one group for their sameness and insult them for isolating themselves. Does not compute.
March 3rd, 2009 at 2:15 pmPenny,
The use of the example of freaks and geeks was demonstrative of the issue at large. Whether one uses implants or piercings isn’t the point. The f & g example was used b/c in our society that is deemed “nonconformist”. But essentially it is conforming if chosen simply to be “different” than what is popular. It’s conforming to the “nonconformist”. The point was that if we all just gave up our efforts to feel normal and gain acceptance, we’d live our lives as they were meant for our happiness. Lose the image and out comes our true selves.
You say: I do not understand your point of “we are all the same” but I would like to vilify one group for their sameness and insult them for isolating themselves. Does not compute.
I don’t really understand what you’re saying here…?
Human beings are all the same. No matter what their exteriors or walks of life. We may not all have equal footing, but we were all born with the same need for love, joy and purpose.
Thanks so much for commenting!
March 4th, 2009 at 2:10 pm[...] Forgive your parents 2. Pay off debt 3. Lose your image 4. Think critically 5. Find the silver lining 6. Make friends with children, old people and animals [...]
April 28th, 2009 at 1:26 pmInteresting article, something I think a lot of individuals can relate to first hand; that is, trying so hard to fit into a social corner that you end up turning yourself inside out just to meet the requirements.
The thing is, I’m personally almost EMBARRASSED to fit myself into a particular social group… I feel like my identity has just been stripped away!
July 15th, 2009 at 3:59 pmVery interesting article, it rings so true. I think it is a consequence of social conditioning…..that you must fit into society. And those who want to express their “independent” nature, are also socially conditioned to “rebel” by siding with an alternative society. In the end, those who claim to be “independent” end up being just as dependent – albeit on an alternative society and with alternative social norms.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:15 pmRam´s last blog ..Understanding symbols
is it wrong that you concluded my entire post in a few lines?
(snark, snark, snark.)
it’s nice to know I’m being understood.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:07 pm