20 Reasons Why Corporate Sucks
Almost anyone I know ever met, hates their corporate job.
By the looks of that sentence it’s rough out there.
But here’s a look at why:
1. Control me master, please. Company owners, management and bosses leash you up the best they can, more so then my mother ever did.
2. Cheap chairs. It’s hard to feel valuable when your back hurts and you watch your boss buy a $460 piece of glass for him to make more ‘company art’ with.
3. Hovering. Why are people so nosy? Just let me work.
4. Trying not to starve. Eating out costs a significant amount of money and packing lunch gets tiring and transporting it gets old.
5. Presence = productivity. Whoever was the bastard that spread this message around is lucky he’s probably already dead or half the American workforce would get off their “pretending to work” asses just to hunt him down.
6. Time = commitment. Why doesn’t passion and enthusiasm = commitment? Some people get it.
7. Entitlement. They pay your wage therefore they own the rest of your life.
8. Commuting. Thanks, you just made me miss my train. Again. For a FedEx box. I know, you’re too good to drop one off yourself.
9. Tardiness. Don’t be late, it defines your commitment. Like time, remember? Besides, those fifteen minutes help define all of todays productivity.
10. It’s illegal, but still taking lunch is frowned upon. Apparently no one there ever heard about Netflix.
11. Nannies can raise kids. Who cares about the next generation, you’re needed now, and no you can’t do it tonight.
12. I gave you time off on Christmas Eve. There’s a definite sense that one should be grateful for given national holidays off.
13. You’re fired. But our crappy executives got a bonus for deciding it. Enough said.
14. Your boyfriend died? Oh sorry, bereavement time is only for immediate family members. We’ll have to doc your pay.
15. Sick days don’t exist. Staying home when sick is smart, but coming into work sick is dedication!
16. Earn your keep. Like a stray mutt, please prove you’re even worth keeping around.
17. You give two weeks notice. We’ll likely give you none.
18. Screw women. They’ll just end up having babies & leaving anyway.
19. Everything that goes wrong is because I’m an idiot. No, not because you can’t delegate.
20. Drink coffee, take speed. Do whatever it is you need to do. Just don’t nap; being awake means you deserve your check.
It’s understood that companies need to make money, but if they were more like this, they’d realize that the more you give the more you get. People will develop loyalty to companies that care about them and develop their policies around the good of everyone.
Just be great and great people will be too.
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Take advantage of what you have now. For example, will the company pay for you to take additional courses? Is there someone who you admire and can mentor you? I had plenty of corporate jobs, and then shifted to smaller businesses. I’m not sure what is worse. Small businesses nickel and dime everything to death, including your travel and phone expenses. Corporations suck the life out of you. My advice is to take control of your own career and your work. The only one that is going to look out for You is You.
December 27th, 2007 at 7:37 amIt’s true, one must consider themselves first when wking in corporate. I just hope that the right people get it soon and make it better.
Thanks for commenting!
December 27th, 2007 at 1:12 pmMy favorite is your take on sick days. Why be smart when you can be dedicated, right?
December 29th, 2007 at 6:59 pmEvery time I start to second-guess my decision to turn down that promotion to head office so that I can stay a simple blue collar guy doing my simple blue collar fly-in/fly-out resources sector job, I’ll return to this entry to have another read
My company might own me for 14 days straight but then the next 14 are mine mine mine!
December 30th, 2007 at 1:22 amIt is funny that at this day in age when the definition of workplace is supposedly changing, it seems that very few companies are actually shifting how they treat their employees. Isn’t it benefical to them to have employees that truly love the company and their role in it? Seriously?
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:33 pmNicole,
I love this topic!!!
I would like to add another great reason why Corporate jobs suck.
…well because we will have to work our Asz off until 65 or more, not realizing that
the whole life has been spent in these jobs (and studying to get these jobs).
About the time you have some time and money to enjoy (well if Enron/ Worldcom kind of corporations dont mess your retirement up)….booom… the sickness followed by the death hits!
So I am not for Corporate economy!
January 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm[...] 20 Reasons Why Corporate Sucks: This is a pretty complete list. My favorite is the commentary on sick days. [...]
January 14th, 2008 at 8:41 am[...] alas, corporate sucks and until employees collectively deny them the right to treat us as workhorses, we’ll forever [...]
February 1st, 2008 at 10:25 am[...] 53. A marketer working for DeBeers created the American tradition of the engagement ring. 54. Your job probably thinks your expendable; be selective with your loyalty 55. When your kids constantly whine and misbehave, it’s not because of the school system… 56. [...]
March 6th, 2008 at 6:32 amHey, I can relate to this so much. I have come down to only two reasons why I cannot stand the corporate world any longer and am frantically seeking for the way out:
1.) It is always about profit and competition, winning over, power over, never really about people, life, meaning, communion… My own values and the values the corporate world is based upon are incompatible.
2.) The relationships in the corporate world are primarily based on artificial foundations, not natural ones. Naturally people come together and connect on basis of shared values and needs. In the corporate world you are just thrown together with some people into a team or whatever and expected to build a team, adopt values and live happily ever after.
So, beam me up, Scotty…
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:46 amRobert -
I wrote this list when I was bitter and releasing my frustrations on my blog. I still agree with what I wrote, but what you’ve said here better expresses the real issues with why corp. doesn’t fulfill people or bring out their best.
Thanks for the enlightenment.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 amI could not agree more
June 1st, 2008 at 5:18 pmword.
June 11th, 2008 at 5:59 am[...] Found this amusing article about why corporate life sucks: [...]
April 14th, 2009 at 11:53 pm[...] 53. A marketer working for DeBeers created the American tradition of the engagement ring. 54. Your job probably thinks your expendable; be selective with your loyalty 55. When your kids constantly whine and misbehave, it’s not because of the school system… 56. [...]
April 28th, 2009 at 12:45 pmI love this site. Everything you’ve written is dead on… I agree companies should treat us better and we would produce more…. but in the real world there are too many blood suckers who will gladly take our place and kiss A$%. And they will work for less. until we as people band together the corps will always own us.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:48 pmAnother thing where is this recession I have heard so much about? The corporations run this country Thank you Pres. Bush…. I believe they made up this recession crap so that they could lay people off and save more money they are just overloading their employees to see exactly how much they can get out of people before they break. We are cattle…. corporate cattle. We need to get back to caring for each other, I know it sounds weird but back in the 50’s and 60’s companies cared about employees now if you are at a company for 5 years you are now an expensive liability. Everyone should go on strike union or not just stop and park your car on the freeways some morning and get out and socialize shut down the roads… shut down the corporations. No one cares about us but us. We’ve got to stop being so selfish and greedy.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:54 pmUnplug… shut down… see how the corporations do without us. Stop being a blood sucker do not jump into a job that has layed off some one with a great work record have some dignity, honor, and respect for your fellow associates. Remember it’s company against company it’s us, associates against the corporate monster. No longer called a machine its a monster. What else would you call something that takes you away from your family, away from watching your child grow up and seeing all their firsts, like first steps, first word etc? Thats a monster. Only we can change it, WE THE PEOPLE…
May 4th, 2009 at 3:58 pmSorry I meant to say “It’s not company against company” “It’s corporation against us the People”.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:04 pmWill we ever liberate ourselves? Will we ever take back our lives and start living? Remember when you retire what will you look back on a life spent serving a corporation trying to nikle and dime your retirement for all your dedicated service or will you look back and remenber your family your kids first steps or their first game? What will you remember?
Damn Sean got a lot to say?
Glad you like the site though…
May 8th, 2009 at 12:00 amGreat post! Working in a pseudo-corporate environment myself, I can understand a lot of these frustrations. For me, the big one is the ‘open office environment’ which does away with cubicles all together in the spirit of collaborative synergy. Great in theory, but terrible in practice :p
May 15th, 2009 at 9:09 amyea, I’ve been in one of those. The best part is when an authority member sneaks up behind you.
May 15th, 2009 at 9:35 amI will never again work for a Rick Gervais type of character(Brit. version of “The Office”)Corporations are in general brainless hydras that use you and spit you out like jetsam
June 14th, 2009 at 1:26 pm[...] conscious existence I recognized my feelings needed the sugar too. When I was working at my old horrible corporate job, I would come home and munch on ice cream, waiting for the dopamine to make my bad feelings all [...]
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:27 pmI actually laughed my butt right off after reading this article. The last 3 nonprofits and my current one fit these statements, and I did work in coporate for years before nonprofit.
The sad thing is that I’m thinking of going back to for profit; more money and less stress (ironic huh?):neutral:
July 9th, 2009 at 2:29 amMihn,
As far as I see it most nonprofit is corporate wrapped up in a prettier ribbon.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:52 pmI don’t want to say I’m lucky with my current job, since I’m still here and still on someone else’s time, but I do have to say I’ve got it better than most. I can work from home if I want (within reason), no one says anything if I sneak in at 10:30 (but ironically they might be inclined to comment if it looks like I’m sneaking out early), and can wear jeans and a t-shirt to work, but I still get sick of hearing people try to one up other people by bragging about who works more. And just because I leave at 5 doesn’t mean I’m taking a half day. I do have to agree with the presence = productivity and time = commitment ones, as long as the appearances are good, I’ve earned my paycheck. No one seems to care that I could do it in 3 days instead of 5, haha.
I love posts like this because they keep me from getting complacent. I may not be where I want to be job and career wise, but at least I still have some motivation left that hasn’t been zapped by Corporate America.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:15 pmRuss´s last blog ..It’s not that I don’t like people