I am a survivor of a wonderful 10 year, ultimately failed, marriage to a beautiful woman who never grasped that I could not FIX our finances if I was the only one doing the heavy lifting. Now, going on five years later, we are still friends and can talk about these things.

Still it was a surprise when she confessed that my FAILURE to make every $$ situation work (her business, relocating challenges, credit card debt, student loans) magically disappear was the foundation of our marriages failure. (Sorry day time drama television audiences there was no cheating, drugs/alcohol, abuse, or parenting issues.)

The worst day of our relationship was a month after our divorce was finalized she called to ask why I wasn’t going to be making the payment for her auto, house and bills. I realized then that this wonderful woman had a lot of growing up to do. I had been blind to her relationship to money and she was blind to the relationship between money and our marriage.

As adults we must accept responsibility for our own decisions, no one else is going to face the consequences. You can overcome ANYTHING once you realize it CAN be overcome. The first step is scary, agonizing and horrible but it CAN be made. The next step is going to be easier but not if you never take the first.

Then I realized that the guilt and pain I had over the marriages failure could begin to heal.